Mental habits to keep your mind and body healthier

Introduction

This story is "borrowed" from my other blog. I wrote it about 12 years ago, sometime around 2014/2015. At that time, I was having a hard time in life due to burnout. It's about understanding the importance of and thinking about your own mental health and the small habits you need to keep it in good shape.

Now that I'm putting another difficult time behind me, this time due to my accident in 2023, I'm bringing it up again. It's as relevant now as it was then. I would say it's probably relevant to a lot of people more or less every day.

Mental health is a daily challenge for many, and in my opinion it is something we all need to be more aware of. Learn that just because people smile, laugh and look strong, it does not necessarily mean they are well on the inside, that we all need to show more patience, care and calm in our everyday lives. 

Probably because of the difficult time I went through many years ago, where I had to "force" myself to take care of myself, I have learned to "automate" daily tasks into habits, both practical ones like shopping lists and mental habits for self-care, so that I have more time and energy for all the other tasks one has in everyday life, without getting burned out.

When you make things into habits, it makes life easier. You no longer have to spend time remembering to do these things, they just happen, because they are habits! Then you have more energy to do the things that life otherwise brings, whether it's challenges or enjoying some much-needed time with your loved ones or friends.

What I will tell today is the small quiet habits to help you to care for you mental health in your everyday life, the ones we all need, but too often "forget"

Let me tell you a story about mental health

Some mornings, you wake up already tired.

Not the kind of tired sleep can fix.

The deeper kind. The one that sits in your head, chest, heavy and unnamed.

You’re scrolling through your phone before your feet touch the floor. Bad news. A reminder of something you forgot to do. Or something you need to do but aren’t ready to do. Your mind starts racing before your heart is even awake.

Before your feet even touch the floor, your energy is blasted away, you just want to stay in bed, bury yourself under the covers, hide from the outside. You fight your way up, onto your feet, hiding behind a smile...

And no one taught you how to protect yourself from this.

We were taught how to work harder. How to be strong. How to “deal with it.”

But no one ever sat down with us and said: your mental health is shaped by the small things you do every day.

Not by big vacations.
Not by dramatic life changes.

Small habits. Quiet ones. The kind that don’t look impressive—but save you over time.

No one has ever prepared us for dramatic life changes. Or taught us to think about preparing ourselves for life to suddenly take an unexpected turn, or generally taught us to be “selfish,” to prioritize ourselves, to say no, that self-care is the foundation for caring for others. You have to love yourself to love others.

I learned this the hard way.

When my life took an unexpected turn, but everything looked good from the outside. I was somehow functioning. Smiling. Getting most things done.

Inside, where no one saw, I was a big mess, I was running on empty battery, running desperate around to find a charger.

I snapped at everyone, even the ones I loved. I felt guilty for resting. I kept telling myself, others have it worse, stop complaining, shame on you. And slowly, the little energy I had oozed out of me – through endless warnings, unspoken bitterness, and nights of overthinking conversations that were already over.

Mental health doesn’t collapse loudly.
It erodes quietly.

Today I know that I struggle with fatigue after the accident, mainly brain fatigue. My brain energy was drastically reduced, which greatly affected my ability to perform my "normal" tasks. Unfortunately, no one told me about it for quite a while. So pretended it was ok insted of caring for my self, keep on going strong...

But I was saved by the bell, or rather my own experience, my habits suddenly kick in, and as I told a thousand time, habits are you friend, they save you when the house burn down around you.

The first habit that changed everything was remember to pause.

Not meditate for an hour.
Not escape to the mountains.

Just pausing.

Before replying to a message that triggered me.
Before saying yes out of habit.
Before judging myself for feeling “too much.”

I started asking one small question: What do I need right now?

Sometimes the answer was water.
Sometimes silence.
Sometimes space from someone I loved but felt drained by.

Listening didn't make me selfish.
It made me honest.
Honest to myself, my needs, my feelings,

Next habit: protecting my mornings.

I stopped waking up and immediately letting the world invade me.

No mails.
No news.
No social media.
No checking what everyone else was doing with their lives.

Instead, I gave myself the first ten minutes.

Lying in bed for a while, awake but not a awake, feeling my breath, feeling my soul, feeling alive without the pressure of the outside world, feeling just me.

It sounds small. But those ten minutes became a boundary.
A way of saying: my mind matters, I matters, it's my life.

And slowly, my days felt less chaotic.

I remembered the power of saying “no” without explaining myself.

This is the hard one, really hard!

I was raised, as most of us are, to be polite. Accessible. Understanding.
I believed my worth lived in how much I could carry for others, how I was for others.

But every unnecessary yes stole energy from something important.

So I practiced saying:
“I can't today.”
“That doesn't work for me."
"I'm not available"
“I need rest.”

No long stories.
No guilt.
Just, no.

The people who respect me stayed.
The ones who only benefited from my exhaustion slowly faded.

And it hurt – but it also healed. I realize that not everything is meant to stay in our life forever.

Mental health improves when you stop abandoning yourself.

For me, abandonment looked like ignoring my body.

Eating when I was already exhausted instead of resting.
Fought through headaches.
Treated sleep as a reward instead of a need.

I started treating my body like it was on my side, not in my way.

I slept when I was tired.
I moved slowly instead of forcing intense routines.
I ate meals without scrolling—just noticing flavors, warmth, fullness.

Your mental state notices when you care.

Another quiet habit: selective my inputs.

This one has really proven to be fundamental for me. I live with brain fatigue, so it's been incredibly difficult to absorb everything around me. I think a lot of us underestimate how much we absorb during the day.

The overloaded mailboxes.
The conversations we overhear.
The content we consume.
The people we let speak into our lives.

I stopped listen to people that made me feel behind, not good enough, or inadequate. I limited time with people who only talked about drama and negativity. 

Instead, I chose softness. Peace over noise.

Music that calmed me down.
Watching things that made me feel good.
Listen to voices that weren't rushed or judgmental.
Embrace the silence.

Peace and quiet are not boring.
It’s restorative.

I remembered, don't treating emotions like problems to fix.

This one changed me deeply. It's gave me peace in my mind and soul.

When sadness showed up, I didn't rush to distract myself.
When worry came knocking, I wasn't ashamed of it.
When I cry, I embrace it without shame.

I sat with feelings like they were messengers.

“What are you trying to tell me?”
“Where am I pushing too hard?”
“What have I been avoiding?”

Feelings don't disappear when ignored. They wait.

Embrace to understand them, listening to them to shorten their stay.

And the habit no one talks about: kindness toward yourself.

Real kindness. Not motivational quotes.

The kind that says:
"It's okay if you don't do anything today."
“It’s okay you’re still healing.”
“It’s okay to start again.”
"It's okay to fail, you try."

I stopped talking to myself in ways I’d never speak to someone I loved.
I stop treating myself like an obstacle to overcome.

And slowly, my inner world softened.

A healthier mind is not built overnight.

It’s built in moments no one claps for. The time hidden for everyone, even yourself.

Choosing rest over proving.
Choosing honesty over harmony.
Choosing presence over performance.
Choosing peace over fame.
Choosing you over others.

Mental health isn't about becoming unbreakable. It’s about becoming gentle enough to notice when you’re breaking—and caring enough to respond..., on time.

So here’s the quiet question I’ll leave you with:

If your mind could speak freely today, what small habit would it beg you to change?

Closing comments

Let me end with this: It is in your mind that everything starts or stops. The foundation of any healing process is ensuring a healthy mind. Learn to be “selfish,” learn to take care of yourself first. You must love yourself before you can love others. Start building your own small, quiet habits where you prioritize yourself, habits that protect your peace and energy, that take care of your beautiful mind, the rest will follow naturally.