Are you kind to yourself ?

A story about an old rusty beetle and how its get to shine again

Talking yourself up!

Are you good at talking yourself up or good at talking yourself down? Unfortunately, many people spend a lot of energy and time talking themselves down. Do you spend energy on negative self-talk and would rather let go of these feelings? I've been there, talked myself down, thought negative thoughts,

On my journey I have learned to become better at speaking and thinking more positively again, here is some advice that has been and continues to be helpful to me, on how to deal with these challenge.

Everyone has a backpack full of…

We all have a backpack, and it can be full of small and big disappointments, small and big sorrows, small and big experiences – and small and big dreams. Think about what your story is. Have you experienced something in your life that has left a mark on you? Have you received comments that you never forget and that affect you, without you perhaps thinking about it? Or have you heard something about yourself that interferes with you seeing what you really look like?

Such events and episodes in life can color you more than you think. How aware are you of this and how much does it affect you in your daily life?

Know how robust and well you actually function

Do thoughts about who you are take up a lot of space in your everyday life? Try to think of yourself as a car. Maybe an older, well-used car, it may have its flaws and imperfections, a little rust here and there, and it's not perfect in every way, and that's okay. But it starts, gets you from A to B, not as fast as before, but the basics still work, be happy with it, it's alive. Feel all the good things that this well-used car actually does, gets you around, keeps you moving, and it actually looks pretty good too. Focusing on the good things, the positives rather than the negatives, can give you extra resilience in relation to yourself. Be grateful for the good things, for who you are. Remember that it's not you and the well-used car, the car and you are one unit that has to work together, it's an engine that runs, but it needs you to steer. Living in symbiosis with yourself is an important strategy for being able to drive as a team with your well-used car.

Let go – and focus on yourself

In an age where we spend a lot of time on social media, it is easy to compare yourself to others. It is easy to feel the pressure and that everyone else is doing much better than you. A tip might be to become aware and put into words what you are good at and shift your focus to what you appreciate about yourself. Try to redefine yourself and try to let go of your old image of yourself. If you let negative thoughts about yourself take up a lot of space in your everyday life, you will have less space for what actually gives meaning to your life and gives you motivation and energy. That doesn't really lead to anything good.

Instead, use the knowledge and experience you have had around negative thoughts about yourself for something positive and energetic. Asking questions like "who am I?" and "who do I want to be?" can give you some perspectives on what you want to strive for.

Stand firm with yourself.

Being comfortable with yourself is an ongoing inner process that everyone has to work on. We have to accept that we have lived and that both natural changes and health challenges can arise during your life. The older we get, the more grateful we should be for who we have become. Try comparing yourself to your car, it's there and is probably perfectly fine, it might need a little refreshing, but it's yours and it's what you have, be happy with it, use it with pride. If you have a vulnerability, illness, disability, accepting it and using it to your advantage can lead to you being able to carry the vulnerability you feel, with pride.

The fact that we are comfortable and robust with ourselves makes it easier to straighten up and be proud of who you are.

Self-praise and boasting

Giving praise to yourself and others can be more powerful than you realize. Say what you notice about others – give praise and compliments. Focusing on others also has a positive effect on you. If you say what you notice about others, you will see how good it feels. Praising yourself to the point of almost embarrassing yourself is also useful. If you have spent a lot of time criticizing yourself, it takes a real round of positive self-talk and self-praise before your subconscious is convinced of how good you are!

So find your good voice that cheers you on, and be grateful for who and what you are. Speak up for yourself and appreciate everything about yourself, be proud of who you are, remember that you are yourself. It is so much more important than how you look on the inside or the outside!